Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Addiction Does Not Automatically Mean A Problem

I smoke cigarettes.

I have an addiction to it. And I have a problem with tobacco. But they are two different things.

I have an addiction. I probably will be the nastiest person you know if I don't smoke the whole day. But it is not a problem for me. I smoke this special tobacco. Rolling tobacco. And smoke it with these certain papers. It's a hustle to go around the town to find that brand of tobacco that has no chemicals. After a while the other brand available (which would be cheaper but doesn't taste as good) would be suitable, but can be found in even fewer shops where I buy mine. Yet, I always go to the shops, buy about 5 pouches of it, and smoke for one and a half to two weeks from it. I always have a lighter and papers. Never run out on me own.

And since I do enjoy smoking, too, I do not wish to quit. At least, not yet. So smoking is not a problem for me. Sorry, I know this is completely wrong thing to say, since in the modern society I should be ashamed of smoking and all the time repeat the mantra to my friends "I'm going to quit next week." No, I won't. And yes, I do know they are bad for me.

But I also do have a problem with it. The people close to me have not yet grasped the idea, that they actually sell these in shops. I do not have a Tobacco Fairy waving her magic wand and all the tobacco I need just magically appears in my pocket. I actually have to pay money for the tobacco and the accessories. Still every day I have quadrillion people coming to ask for papers and for tobacco. My lighter can't be found after 4 people have asked to borrow it when they go for their cigarette break. If I'm in the smoking break, I don't mind. If I'm working, and you borrow the lighter for your break, and never return it, and I don't remember to ask it (never have to - I have my own!) back, and I go for my break and have to wait until someone comes in I get very annoyed. I do have a problem with that. A huge problem.

And don't comment that I am too nice to lend everything and people will abuse me if I'm too nice. Don't, because I can't come and whoop your donkey. And I haven't hit anyone since I was a minor.

Today it seemed that everyone was out of everything. Suddenly the whole World was depleted of tobacco and related accessories. When I got home from work, I had no papers, small crumbs at the bottom of my bag, and no lighter. No one person is abusing me. But little streams make rivers. I always have, so people must've noticed that and they know that if they are in need, I always have. When a hundred people come, then I am abused. Not by one, but by many. I don't care if you smoke weed while you work. As long as it doesn't affect my work. I do not do that. I'm there to work. But I want my cigarette breaks. The stuff you do with several of my papers is your business, but don't depend on me every day. Get your addiction sorted. Mine is. And I want my lighter back!

A side note: I just put my MP3 player in. I had it at my friend's place a while ago. I do not update my player, since it works, so I do not need a wall charger for it. I forgot my player to a friend's place. Got it back and it has been played with. Had to format it. Lost my music. Then had to put it in a wall socket. Which I don't have. And none of the shops close by. So I bought one. Plugged it in. Got it working. Or so I thought. Now my fruit company program forces me to update before I can put music in it. Thank you. I have all the automated things off, but with this one particular fruit company no automated thing is ever completely off. So after the update I need to put it in the wall socket again. And I just started to write this, because I was planning to put music on it and go for a walk to cool my head. After wasting time for getting the tobacco, because it was the fifth shop that had the brand I smoke, I hoped to go home and get my tripod and go. And during the copying I was planning to write this. So even longer delay. Who wants to walk when there's light anyways?

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